I Want You to Know My Friend
Supporting someone you love who is grieving can be tough. Part of this is considering y'all want to help, but deep down, you know that you can't fully take their pain abroad. In addition, it was difficult to console a grieving friend or family member before the COVID-19 pandemic — but this by twelvemonth has certainly complicated the procedure. Offering support with a screen separating yous from your loved one can preclude you from extending a comforting hug or hand and furthering your message of support.
All the same, knowing what to say and do — in addition to just being there for them without necessarily saying or doing too much — is a great start. Grieving is a gradual process, and the ultimate healer is time. However, in the procedure, yous tin can help a loved one cope by providing support in unlike ways. Use these tips to go started in offering reassurance and comfort to someone who'southward navigating the grieving process.
Many people are hesitant to direct mention the cause of someone's grief. We tend to remember it'll make the person feel worse, equally bringing upwards a name or a situation tin can often prompt the person to start crying every bit memories or thoughts come flooding in. Notwithstanding crying is a natural and salubrious part of grieving. Speaking candidly almost their grief can be much more comforting than noticeably barring it from the conversation, also. If your friend or family member is comfortable with it, you can use the word "died" rather than "passed abroad" if that's the root of the grief. Speak the name of the lost loved one.
For case, "I'm going to miss Stephanie so much," is much more heartfelt and personal than the universal "I'k lamentable for your loss," notes Harvard Medical School. Using truly comforting words — and expressing your authentic sentiment — over a loss can be more helpful than saying something y'all could imagine telling someone you don't know well. Your actuality and recognition can make your grieving loved ones experience more comfortable about their grief and the way they're feeling.
It's important to understand that some people who are grieving experience shame around their grief, as if they're a burden because they're hurting or difficult to be around. Acknowledging their grief out loud is an effective mode to let a person who's grieving know that isn't the case. Of form, you want to be sensitive about how y'all bring the state of affairs up, but don't erase information technology from the chat. It can assistance loved ones recognize that you're someone they don't have to tiptoe around and that they can speak honestly to you nigh what they're going through.
Attain Out First
Don't wait for someone who'south grieving to reach out to you. People going through something difficult often don't take the free energy to ask for assist. Many times, they don't even know what to ask for. Doing that work for them is some of the all-time support you tin provide. Call them to express your sympathy and enquire them if they want to talk. Check in with them ofttimes, even if it's just to let them know you're thinking about them.
Offer to assistance out, too. Don't tell them to let you know if they need annihilation; they might exist reluctant to do so, and that won't brand things easier for them. Help out with specific things, similar bringing over groceries or pre-made meals, cleaning their house, driving them around, profitable with childcare or answering their telephone. Many people dealing with grief feel guilty request for this kind of help, and if y'all know the person well enough information technology can be best to just do these things without request. They'll appreciate it.
Listen Without Trying to Fix Everything
Your grieving loved i will demand someone to mind to them when they feel like talking. They need someone to listen without offer unsolicited advice and without judgment. If someone special to them died, allow them do the talking nearly how they experience. Let them repeat the story over and over if they accept to. A compassionate ear helps more than than you know to lessen the hurting. You lot can offer words to comfort the bereaved without putting your two cents in or interjecting. Simply requite advice if they specifically ask for it. It'south perfectly okay to admit that y'all don't know what to say but desire them to know they have your support.
Part of beingness a expert listener to someone experiencing loss or any blazon of grief is agreement the grieving process. It doesn't always manifest as sadness or depression. Feelings of anger and anxiety are common. Having trouble sleeping is normal, as is feeling fatigue. Disruptions in eating patterns happen often also. If you feel okay with it, you can be someone to whom they feel comfortable letting it all out. If yous're talking in-person rather than through a screen, you might concord their hand and hug them instead of trying to come up up with solutions. Call back, no advice yous can requite is going to take the pain away. Nonetheless, your presence can do wonders for helping them cope in the concurrently.
Don't Minimize Their Loss past Existence Overly Positive
It can be helpful to bring upwardly genuine positives to a loved one who is grieving — but the manner y'all do then matters. For instance, reminding them that the person they lost was loved or lived a total life tin be comforting. However, you lot want to avoid overdoing it or just focusing on the proficient. Not everything has a positive spin, and that's okay; information technology doesn't have to. Being likewise positive tin can easily brand someone who's grieving feel like yous're minimizing their pain or loss, as if it isn't a big deal or they're being too emotional about it.
An instance of a minimizing comment might be, "What doesn't kill you makes yous stronger." While information technology's true they may come out the other cease of their grief stronger, in the moment it tin feel similar you're pushing aside their sadness or suggesting their emotions aren't valid.
Expressing things through the lens of your religion to someone who doesn't share your beliefs is another thing to avoid. If someone doesn't believe in God, telling them their dead loved i is "in a improve place" won't help them feel amend. Saying that what happened is "part of God'south programme" could brand them feel aroused rather than comforted. Even if you hateful well, leaving your religion out of it is much more supportive if they don't share your beliefs. Your words of sympathy and condolement can easily exist expressed using non-religious linguistic communication instead.
Seeing people y'all love grieve is never easy, but accept heart. The loving support you offer can exist a powerful tool in helping family and friends process their grief.
Resources Links:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/end-of-life/expert-answers/grieving-process/faq-20058274
https://www.mayoclinic.org/salubrious-lifestyle/end-of-life/in-depth/grief/art-20045340
https://www.wellness.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/means-to-support-someone-who-is-grieving
https://pathwayshealth.org/grief-back up/grief-can-have-very-existent-physical-symptoms/
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Source: https://www.symptomfind.com/health/support-grieving-loved-one?utm_content=params%3Ao%3D740013%26ad%3DdirN%26qo%3DserpIndex
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